Right now, I don’t have this problem anymore but I have had recent ruminations on girls that make you look bad that I would like to lay out for you here.

In relationships I don’t believe that there is any difference in the sexes when it comes to people wanting to avoid the people that embarrass them. Whether you are talking about someone that you are intimate with, or a buddy that you play pick-up basketball with I think that people tend to gravitate towards enhancing their self image with the company they choose. Don’t get me wrong, I play a basketball and rub elbows with folks that have made me look bad. In the case of basketball, it can make you a better player. In the case of social company, it can push you intellectually.

Trying to defend this little gorilla-looking kid, Alaric, at Fort Stevens playground in the late 1980’s, early 1990’s was not a good idea. Alaric was the ghetto classic, dribble-first, point guard that had a penchant for breaking over-aggressive defenders’ ankles with dizzying spins and a crisp crossover. He would pause in the middle of his moves to give the crowds that would show up there a chance to react and he would crush your reputation in the process. Every “oh” from the spectators meant that you were getting served and that you were having a hard time staying in front of Alaric. Maybe because I was from New York and a year older than him that I made it a point to play against him every chance that I could? I have a competitive streak like that, but Alaric was a bit too much DC youngling for me and he made me look stupid for a good six months.

Not all of my fraternity brothers and I get along despite the fact the group actions can be binding on individuals. Fraternities are a lot like families, in that you are stuck with them, and that some of the personality clashes are simply luck of the draw. There were some meetings that we would have in college that would come to fisticuffs. The beauty of it all was the fraternity, itself, provided the structure by which the playing field of power was leveled ideally. Brothers quickly learned that politics was a more effective tool than brute strength, all the time, even though there were quite a few of us that relished some of the rougher confrontations. No matter how much you wanted to bash someone’s brains in because of a stupid decision that you would ultimately be responsible to help carry out, it was always in your best interest to build a coalition against the idea.

Now those are two examples that I just put out there in order to demonstrate that if you always choose the easy road in relationships then you are very likely to miss the opportunity to use the resistance to grow. With that being said, you would have to be an idiot, male or female, if you choose the most difficult partner to begin a relationship with the idea that you are going to be stronger for it in the long run. You may succeed in your exercise and find yourself single, because in this day and age, it isn’t likely that you will stay together. Some challenge is good, but I don’t know if a healthy relationship can survive the heavy strain that comes with constant opposition. When it comes to getting together people have a tendency to pick people that they get along with. Forcing it is for the stupid and for men that don’t mind giving up half of their traps in divorce settlements.

Compatibility is the key and there are few things more incompatible to me than some woman embarrassing me which is why I’m usually gone at the first signs, and why I’ll never be with stupid one.