The Root Inaugural Ball

I suppose now is a good time for me to try and recap my whirlwind inaugural week. Of course the balls preceding the actual events were lots of fun but the highlight had to be seeing Barack and Michelle Obama on the cover of the Washington Post on my 35^th birthday. What better present could a brother ask for? A black man is the most powerful man in the free world. Say word!

One of the flossiest events that I went to was The Root Inaugural Ball.  There were more celebrities there trying to impress the print media than there was actual print media. This was by far the most telling event that I attended because it drove home the point that if that a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it, did it really make a sound? Newsmen in the political process therefore dominated my focus. I am an extremely big fan of people that read the newspaper and check everyday for their favorite columnists. I can usually be found in the comment section of the Washington Post and I couldn’t imagine being with someone that didn’t read a newspaper regularly.

All of the boys had a really good time.  I had to rock the velvet Sean John on them, though.

Eugene Robinson is one of those guys that I typically read. As far as his opinions go, we don’t always agree but I believe that he is a voice for the sort of people that I pay attention to. Namely, Eugene Robinson represents the demographic that I like to call: black-folks-that-have-some-sense. I’m talking not just talking about the Black Bourgeoisie, again or the groups most likely associated with the Talented Tenth. I’m talking about black people from a diverse socio-economic stratum that are not overly influenced by the negative stereotypes or mentally disenfranchised. If you want to have your finger on the pulse of what black people could be thinking about a variety of subjects, you should really check him out.

The Root Inaugural Ball was that rare mixture of celebrities with public intellectual figures and print news. Dr. Henry Louis “Skip” Gates is the co-founder of the online magazine and enterprise known as The Root. Gates has broken new ground in relation to minorities in the media by introducing a web site that focuses on genealogy issues specific to our community. The Root also offers a venue from which the world renown Harvard professor can push a responsibly agenda as he chairs the W.E.B. DuBois Institute for African and African American Research. As both an educator and a writer of great importance, Dr. Gates has been a lion of our time.

Dr. Gates is also one of my good friend’s supervisors as she is one of the editors of The Root: Natalie Hopkinson, of course, holds it down in her own right as an author and is Rudy’s wife. I would be really remiss if I didn’t thank her for all that she has done for my own writing career as well as providing for admittance into such great events.

Now, on to the foolishness: once again I had to engage in paparazzi status because none of you people believe stuff without seeing it. I got a chance to take pictures with a few celebrities but I really saw a whole lot more. Oprah Winfrey came through, as well as Spike Lee. I didn’t get to talk to either of them, however. I don’t think that I was on their list of people to talk to, although I did see both of them. I actually tried to speak Spike Lee, but he wasn’t really feeling me I guess. Oprah was too busy being Oprah, and she was mobbed by every woman on the set trying to get their picture moment. It was at this point that I headed for Samuel Jackson.

True story about Samuel: seconds before my picture was taken next to him a white lady and professional photographer walked up to him and said, “Danny I’m a fan of your work.”

Samuel Jackson looked her dead in the eye and said, “I’m not Danny Glover.”

I took this as my cue to chime in with, “I’m Danny.” I think that Samuel Jackson got a kick out of that because of the inference that if we all look alike the names shouldn’t matter much either. Anyway it got me a picture next to a screen legend and I didn’t even have to use one of my “motherfucker” jokes do it. I was really proud of myself for that moment.

Another proud moment came with actor Jamie Hector of the acclaimed series The Wire remembered meeting me at Penn Station three years ago. I guess he was really serious about building a house and when I told him that I was an engineer so long ago, it made quite and impression on him. Of course, when I told my sister this, she was immediately like “I know him:” Which is Lysa-speak for I know him better than you. No worries, I was just happy to be there.

Chris Tucker was getting interviewed by some kid. I thought it was cute and I took a picture. I was really feeling the 360 degree, dope boy, waves that Chris Tucker was rocking. I wish my hair did that, but it doesn’t. I think that Nigerian hair is probably the most unruly hair on the planet, though. I bet that Chris Tucker couldn’t get his hair to bead with a few drops of water and a verbal command. There is a positive in everything if you look hard enough, I suppose. I could be a Rastafarian any time I wanted to be. I could rob a bank with an afro and go into a bathroom and have dreads as a disguise in the space of thirty seconds.

Anyway, because there are so many Howard University folks in mainstream print media, this affair turned into a quiet Bison Ball.  Aside from Natalie, Ta-Nehisi Coates was there and so were half of the political science majors that came through in our era.  Man, there were a lot of Howard lawyers in that place!  These days, none of them want me to call them out so I don't say anything.  I just take their pictures and their cards in case I finally get busted for urinating in public.  To have so many lawyers and stuffy media-types in the building all at once it sure didn't stop folks from getting down to DJ Biz Markie, though.  I'm sure that this was the first official inaugural ball in the United States, or any other legitimate country for that matter, that ever featured a hip hop pioneer.  Now, how fresh is that?

Well much ado was made about the whole affair on CNN and apparently on Larry King. I had friend call me all the way from Tortola in the British Virgin Islands and he told me that he saw me on television. The whole thing doesn’t surprise me because another Howard friend, AJ Calloway, was covering the event for Extra. Not long after we dapped the camera mysteriously panned in my direction for the coveted background shot. I must have been on television for two minutes, just standing there, trying to make small talk with the passerby’s. I’m mad that ya’ll missed me.

Random Photos Edition

Damon Weaver is interviewing comedian Chris Tucker at The Root Inaugural Ball in the V.I.P. section.  True story, some random (black) couple came up to me and my date in the Kenneth E. Behring Center (the exhibit in the Smithsonian where they house the Presidential memorabilia) and asked if we wanted their V.I.P passes.  It was that kind of night.  I guess I didn't even have to ask Natalie for any additional passes since black folks were in a giving mood.  Now how often does that happen?

Speaking of the Kenneth E. Behring Center, it was really interesting to see the presidential photos all in a row. Once again number 44 cemented a major point without even having to say a word in that one.  What a different world the children of today will grow up in!  Tom stopped by The McGann residence after we took the TJMS scholarship winners from Howard University out to lunch.  Aren't Maven and Maverick McGann, adorable?  Maverick is Tom's godson, and Maven is my goddaughter. 

Thomas and Toy couldn't bring my other goddaughter because of the hectic schedule, but you can get the general idea.  We're all thick as thieves.  I can't wait for Toy to have her birthday party in Miami this year so we get to go jet skiing and party hopping all over South Beach, again.  I haven't been there since Oscar's 30th birthday party a few years back and I'm super stoked to make it happen.

There were these little cakes at Toy's birthday party in Dallas that someone made and I swear they melted in your mouth.  The description "bite-sized cupcakes" doesn't really do them justice, but they were shaped like hearts and I absolutely loved them.  Please, Lord, let there be more of those little cakes in Miami in a couple of weeks.  Hmmm-um-um.  Scrumptious and delectable!

Speaking of Oscar, Tom's little brother, he came through Washington DC sporting a brand new girlfriend.  I know if may be hard for some of you to believe, but Oscar used to be one of the biggest pimps on this side of the Mississippi.  I suppose after he graduated FAMU and headed back West he settled down a little.  Let's say that his 30th birthday party in Miami was the last straw.  Now that he's deeply involved in Reach Media and Radio One, he needs to keep a more professional profile.  Quietly, you need a wife for all that and I guess he's about to make it happen because he's never been so forthcoming with his women before.  Anyway, I got a candid shot of him and Rudy, and a couple of him with his family on the historic night of the Tom Joyner All Star Tribute.

Keeping everything into focus, to the right are the TJMS Scholarship Winners from Howard University.  They were the spitting images of Thomas, Rudy, and myself when we were at Howard so many years ago: one was a political scientist, another studies communications and the one all the way on the right studies biology.  That sort of thing just doesn't happen everyday.

Another thing that doesn't happen everyday is getting asked to leave a restaurant when you clearly had reservations.  B. Smith's restaurant in Washington DC takes the cake for their asinine behavior on the afternoon of January 19th.  Those imbeciles over there had the nerve to turn down our reservations because they weren't able to figure out that Barack Obama's security detail would be conducting a sweep of Union Station.  So the long and short of it is, that the maitre' d at B. Smith's restaurant told the Tom Joyner Foundation to go and fuck themselves because they didn't have their acts together during the biggest week in the city.

Being the resourceful bourgeoisie black folk that we are, though, we headed to Georgia Brown's restaurant instead and Tom vowed that this was the last time that B. Smith's would get a chance to enjoy his business.  All in all, the girls were very resilient and they had a nice time eventually.  You would think that B. Smith's would have been smarter than all of that so that they could get a good plug on black radio, but the dumbasses didn't even read between the lines when I was trying to explain that one of the girls is handicapped and not necessarily all that mobile.

The Southern Christian Leadership Conference, Civil Rights Inaugural Ball was an event that I attended in great haste after the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority and 100 Black Men affair that my mother helped to plan. The busiest night of all the week’s festivities occurred on January 20, 2009. The actual Inauguration ceremony had already gone off without a hitch and I even had a chance to watch a little of the parade. Thank God that I live so close to the National Mall in South West, Washington DC or I wouldn’t have been able to see any of it. People were drawing comparisons to the Million Man March back in 1996, but I must admit, there was little to compare.

The atmosphere was charged but there weren’t nearly as many people on the National Mall back to hear Farrakhan ramble on and on about atonement. The good old fashioned love-in gave me a nice respite from the anticipation of absolute bedlam. I thought that there was going to be complete anarchy, but once again, I was wrong about Barack Obama. I wanted to be a safe witness to history and I got my wish. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary went down. Black people and white people came together as Americans and everything is okay. I suppose that since I’m talking about all of these important political and social organizations I should co-sign the remark that part of the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. has finally been realized.

Who would have thought this possible? I certainly didn’t think it was possible for me to make it to all of the events that I made it to, but I did. I suppose I really am a pessimist when it comes to certain estimates. The best part about the evening was catching up with my favorite friends before they went back to the hustle and bustle of their everyday lives. I know it is a rare event, indeed, that could bring us all together and that we were the witnesses to what will be the only first inauguration of a black president of the United States of America. I don’t think that this blog warrants me waxing poetic on that topic because I think that I do it in another post, but everybody should make a note of how cool it is to watch history unfold. It really is a brand new day in America.

Contrary to popular belief, I had a date at these events so I wasn’t totally alone and looking like the fifth wheel again. I just don’t know how comfortable I am putting up my date’s pictures because we haven’t reached that level of friendship yet. I’m adverse to taking liberties because for all I know she’s totally embarrassed of me and otherwise can’t be seen with me. Now I know that some of you are thinking "yeah right" but the truth of the matter is that there is a good chance that this is exactly the case.  On the brighter side, I do have pictures of my Aunt Diane and mother. I escorted both of them to the The Root Ball, as well as to the Delta Sigma Theta production. We all had a blast, thanks for inquiring. I had some difficulty with tying my own bow tie though.  I need a lot more practice before I start auditioning for the James Bond role.

Um, are ya'll peeping Toy in the purple velvet?  I, myself, was like "yess!" when I saw her in this dress.  So awesome.  I must give props to all of the ladies this week for holding it down and looking absolutely marvelous.  The guys had it easy.  I could have worn the same tuxedo over and over again, but I tried to be a little more classy than that.  The women, on the other hand, had to come correct to so many events in succession and they all knocked it out of the park.  Kudos.  On another note, I'm about to start telling people that these photos were taken at my wedding.  I know that I'm not married or anything, but these might be the only shots of us all together after so many years of being heavily involved with our out families. 

Well the program title read “Radio One All Star Celebrity Tribute to Outstanding Morning Show Host Tom Joyner” and it was obvious from the start that the evening would be all about the man who changed perceptions about Barack Obama and engaged hundreds of thousands in the political process. Of course, I’m talking about the medium of black radio and the most outstanding and dynamic educator and entertainer and his knack for reaching and galvanizing the black community. The election of Barack Obama cannot be solely attributed to the dedication of one man “partying with a purpose” but there is certainly no denying that without his input, in between catering to the general black masses from his nationally syndicated radio show, the outcome would have been much closer.

How much closer, you may ask? Well let’s just start with the fact that long before Barack Obama might have become a household name and a presidential hopeful, Tom Joyner registered hundreds of thousands of voters in a community that was most likely favorable to such grandiose notions of a black president. Without any motivational empowerment of the black community it can be said that Obama could have very well lost.  I am certain that I am not the only one who thinks in this way, today. Some of you already know from my earlier posts that I didn’t even succumb to the faint delusion that a black president would be possible in America until it actually happened. (Up until last night, I was still rubbing my eyes and discussing over filet mignon that concept was finally sinking in -more on that later, though.) The third page after the autograph insert on the second page of the program was a letter from the 44^th President Elect Barack Obama saying as much in a public thank you letter.

This was a tribute to someone that helped to elect the President of the United States of America. He is a black man from Alabama –and a king maker in the truest sense, in a nation that had nothing but open contempt for him at the start of his career. Sadly, at the start of his shining tribute, I was once again late and in the tented Green Room behind the theatre enjoying lamb shanks and jerk chicken. I was sipping champagne when the announcement was made to take seats in the auditorium so as not to embarrass Radio One’s affiliate television station TV One during the eventual broadcast. I was one of the first to bail after the proclamation was made by millionaire owner Cathy Hughes but it is important to note that there was very many a star that was mesmerized by the elaborate spread provided by Hennessy.

When I took my seat in the wing behind Tom Joyner the evidence seemed a little stronger that “the play was the thing” because Chuck Brown, Eric Benet, Raheem DeVaughn, James Ingram, and Jamie Fox were all great performances. Cathy Hughes wasn’t really the best emcee for the event but it was more of a tribute to Tom coming from her, so none of it was worse for the wear. Conspicuously absent from the tribute were his radio show co-hosts but affiliates from other stations like Russ Parr and Huggy Low-Down paid homage. By the time Dick Gregory got on the stage, I really knew that this was something special. As usual Dick Gregory framed it in the most succinct way, as only a 76-year-old black man could, “thank you, Tom.”

Now on to the foolishness.  There are so many flossy things to talk about but I'm going to limit it to just pictures and random statements.  The event was super tight.  There can be no equivocation on that point.  Tom Joyner and his sons have revolutionized black media to include a social conscious.  I am proud to say that my friend and college roommate helped to raise more money for Historically Black Colleges than the United Negro College Fund.  That's right, Tom Joyner, Jr. is a force to be reckoned with in black higher education as the CEO of the Tom Joyner Foundation.  Youngest son, Oscar Joyner, is also a friend but he concentrates his efforts as President of the Reach Media, a Radio One affiliate that incorporates radio, television and events.  The boys aren't playing around, and neither was I at the event billed as the kick-off to start inaugural festivities.  I took pictures and downed as much free alcohol as social circumstances would allow.  My only mission in the night was not to embarrass anyone, so it was just like the good old days when we were in school.

My usual leash, Rudolph, didn't get there until much later due to the fact that his son Maverick had a basketball game.  I'm sure he would have put a stop to my paparazzi status.  It was not as if I was star struck, but I wanted to take pictures for the historic event.  Plus this is good documentation of me finally becoming a believer in Barack Obama.  Anyway, this is what Rudy would have had to contend with: Does anyone remember the girl from the television show "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air?"  Yeah, well she was there and I took a picture with her.  How about basketball player Alonzo Mourning?  Yeah, well I took pictures of him, too.  It went on and on like this until I finally left the catered Green Room at the behest of a millionaire.  Now after the event, we went to go eat some more and I felt really silly at Old Ebbet Grill.  Tom Joyner and Gerald Lavert treated us to a late night meal and a cocktail as we discussed the night's proceedings.  Everyone was all smiles but it was starting to become telling to me that I wasn't the only one marveling at the beauty of it all.  In a few short days there will be a black man as the President of the United States.  The restaurant that were eating our late night snack in would have been off limits to all of us, regardless of star power, in segregated Washington DC 60 years ago.  Anyway, you slice it, it was a much better look for everyone on hand or anyone else that might wonder in 2009.

Cut to Pretty Toney talking with his assistant pimp.

Pretty Toney said "no man, all bitches are the same just like my hoes. you know, I keep 'em broke.  Wake up one morning with some money they subject to go crazy, you know.  I keep 'em looking good and pretty and all that, you know?  But no dough..."

Cut to Goldie's pimp sponsor laying down the game before he puts him on.

Old Pimp "The game is out there Goldie, just waiting for you.  You can be a player, perhaps one of the best.  You see you were one of my best boys: the sharpest.  I hated losing you..."

The Old Pimp continues in the classic black exploitation film, The Mack, featuring Max Julien.

"We gonna change all that now.  I'm going to put you on your feet again.  You're going to have a bank roll so big when you walk down the street it's going to look like your pockets got the mumps...

Now remember a pimp is only as good as his product, see, and his product is women so now you got to go out there and you got to get the best ones you can find. You got to work them broads like nobody's ever worked them before.  And never forget: anybody can control a woman's body, see, but the key is to control her mind.  You see pimpin' is big business and it's been going on since the beginning of time and it's going to continue straight ahead until somebody up there turns out the lights on this small planet.  Can you dig it?  Right on."

Cut to BIG DIC holding it down at El Porto in the frog raise-up stance. 

Ya'll all better recognize game.

I know that all of you are thinking what does DICooper surfing at El Porto have to do with the pimp game.  The answer is simple:  I'm Venice Beach official Dog Town status and you can't even stop the Bruzz!

I forgot to tell all of you Happy New Year in 2009 because I've been extremely busy.  I rang in the New Year in San Diego with my good buddy Joel and his family.  Joel handed over his son Tosh to Grandma Denise for the evening and Joel and Maya threw an after party from 0100 to 0700 on January 1.  Our other Italian friend, Daniele, was also on hand and we had a hell of a time.

Somehow we managed to surf the next day like it was all good, at Swami's.  I cut my hand on a rock but I also surfed the best that I ever surfed in my life that day.  I was looking like a serious pro for a couple of waves there, and some photographers were taking shots of me and asking for my name.  The funny thing is that after Daniele dragged me there -because Joel wouldn't even consider it, I didn't want to leave.  I think that it is going to be a pretty good year.

It is all about looking forward in 2009.  I have a brand new niece and my career is starting to take off.  This make-it-happener gig seems to be right up my alley and the Stags are kicking ass in WCAC basketball and taking names.  We're getting a new president in a matter of days now, and my birthday is around the corner.  The future just seems brighter in 2009, doesn't it?

Everyone is asking about the Inauguration and if I'm attending any of the balls.  Well any time that you have something black and bourgeoisie as the first inauguration of a black President of the United States, you know that I have to make it happen.  On a scale from one to ten on the black bourgeoisie meter, this series of events rates one thousand.  It is off of the meter, folks.  There will not be a bigger, blacker, more bourgeoisie event in our lifetime. 

The only thing that could possibly be bigger than a black man being the leader of the free world is if Jesus Christ came back in a pimped-out Cadillac from the sky and threw a week's worth of parties before the rapture.  But even then, I'm pretty sure that Jay Z and Russell Simmons wouldn't be there, or at least they wouldn't be nearly as excited.  I shouldn't have to tell you people anymore that Jesus is black, but you get the gist of the fact that everybody and their momma would be talking about, "I know Jesus.  We go way back."  Oh, and Jesus is black, people...

At this point, my "in" at all of the inaugural events is owed, once again, to the fact that I am a Howard University alumnus.  The Bison are taking the lead in all of this because Barack received an honorary degree from Howard a couple of years ago and Washington DC is really our town.  Brothers have already gotten their tuxedo games up to par and are ready to make it happen.  The catch for most people is that fact that the events are all pretty expensive, but to a Howard man, this is old hat.

Every Bison knows, or soon learns, that it is not always what you know, but who you know.  Sometimes it is a combination of both.  In my case, I happen to know all the right young, gifted, and black folks on the scene and I am fortunate enough to call most of them good friends.  I'll be sure to take plenty of pictures because this is definitely going to be one for the ages.  I'm reluctant to post my personal schedule because some of you will just be jealous.  Let's suffice to say that your boy is blessed!